Impossible is nothing.

When I was at the Orange Conference back in April, one of the girls in our group was sharing stories of crazy things that happened to her in the past when she had asked God to do the impossible through her.  Things that defied human logic.  Things that she was able to clearly respond to by saying, “It was God.  He did the impossible through me.”

So I have followed suit.  As I drive to work in the mornings, one of the things I almost always pray is, “God, would you please do the impossible through me today?”  I know that’s a prayer that He wants to answer.

You should know that my weekdays always begin with an 8am home visit to one of the families who are faithful clients of our clinic.  I stop by for 45 minutes or so and play with the kids in such a way that helps with carryover of the homework/therapy goals that have been sent home each weekend.  It’s only been two weeks, and it’s so much fun for all of us.

Remember, I’ve been praying for God to do the impossible through me at the clinic.

This past Friday, our clinic had an early morning all-staff meeting, and at the very beginning of the meeting, the director decided to make an announcement.  She said that the dad of the kids that I work with in-home every morning made a phone call to her, specifically to talk about me.  She said that this man very rarely gives out compliments, and is not easily impressed.  But he called her “singing my praises” about what an amazing job I was doing with the kids.  Their family doctor, who happened to be over there one morning that I was there, had also noted the same sentiment and had mentioned it to the dad as well.  And the director, who has high expectations for her staff, also commended me for a job well done.

Ladies and gentlemen, exhibit A: God doing the impossible through me.  A miracle.

Jim Britts gave a sermon a few weeks ago about something related to this.  He said that when his high school students make prayer requests, they oftentimes tend to be requests that, if answered, they wouldn’t really notice that God had answered them.  To get a good grade on a test.  To not get in a fight with mom.  To not be late to rehearsal.  If those things came to fruition, would they call those miracles?  Probably not.  He said that, oftentimes, we don’t see miracles occur because we don’t pray in such a way that, if God doesn’t show up, we fall flat on our face.

So I extend a challenge.  How would your life change if you asked God to do the impossible through you, and He answered your prayer?  For one, I think that it would be easier to recognize when God’s power was at work, versus when our own power was at work.  And it’s an exciting thing to see God’s power at work.  Because it confirms that He hears our prayers and loves us enough to answer them.

We serve a great and powerful God.  But how will we really see his greatness and power unless we ask Him to do the impossible through us, so that He can receive all the glory?

is this what it would feel like?

Whenever people get really crazy busy, they like to say that they are running around “like a chicken with its head cut off.”

Today I am working at three separate workplaces.  This morning I worked for the clinic in Carlsbad for 5 hours.  Then I jetted across town to Oceanside, and worked for the sport psych business for an hour.  Now I’m heading back to Carlsbad, where I will work at the gym for 4 hours.  Then I will zoom down Coast Highway (but not too fast, for the cops are out to trap speeders during tourist season, you know) for a coffee shop meeting with a student in Carlsbad for an hour or so, and then run across the street to hang out with more students from Seven24 for an hour or so (not that I’m complaining).

Then tomorrow I will wake up and do something like that all over again.

So if I were a chicken, running around with my head cut off, is this what it would feel like?

Gotta run . . .

Breaking the Nets

The calling of the disciples in Luke chapter 5 is touching. Simon Peter, James, and John - fishermen by trade - have been fishing all night and have failed to catch a single thing. Then Jesus comes by and tells them to “put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch” (Luke 5:4), and all of a sudden, their nets are so full with fish that they are breaking, requiring the aid of their partners in the other boat, nearly sinking both. The three men are so amazed that, as soon as their boats reach land, they “left everything and followed [Jesus]” (Luke 5:11).

Touching, right? Inspiring, yes?

But here’s something that I think we sometimes miss in this story. When Simon Peter, James, and John “left everything and followed Jesus,” they didn’t just do it because someone told them it was a good idea. They didn’t drop everything they had because it was the “cool” thing to do. And they didn’t even do it because their friends were doing it, or because Jesus was necessarily a charismatic leader.

Peter, James, and John left everything and followed Jesus because they saw His power active in their lives. They saw how radically different they were when Jesus was present and was working, and they wanted more. They wanted all Jesus, all the time. From fishing all night and catching nothing, to catching so many fish that their nets were breaking, they experienced firsthand the power of God, through Jesus. They witnessed His ability to provide for their needs in a way that they themselves were unable to do. And even though they fished for a living and were likely very good at it, when Jesus was working, He used their personally developed skills in order to accomplish impossible things.

But here’s the thing. None of that would have happened, and the three fishermen’s lives would have likely remained unchanged, had they not obeyed Jesus’ command to “put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” Peter retorted at first, but then said he would try. And, of course, Jesus was right about the fish.

So how is it that Jesus expects us to leave everything and follow Him? We will only truly be willing to do so when we have experienced firsthand his life-changing power of impossibility. But before that can happen, we must first obey. And before that, we must listen. And before that, we must be where Jesus is. We must draw near to Him.

And what does He promise us if we do that? “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you”(James 4:8). God wants to be near to us. He wants to work in us. He wants to supply for our needs. He wants to do the impossible through us.

He wants to break our nets when we thought there were no fish.

Will we let Him?

being creative.

How do I get my girls to understand what it means to walk in high releve? Sometimes, as a coach, you just have to get creative. And yes, those are my high heels. Every single one of them.

Coupe Releve Walks

Step Kick to “Barbie Feet”

And now without the shoes

I think my propensity for making weird faces into the camera may have rubbed off on the one in the red shoes.

oh, to be extraordinary!

When I was in the sixth grade, my teacher had us do this math exercise as a whole class. I can’t remember exactly what it was. It was a word problem of sorts, something to do with nurses and a mystery in a hospital I think. Mr. Golchert read the world problem out loud, and then he gave us a few choices as to what the answer was. He asked everyone to raise their hand when he said the answer that they thought was correct (A, B, C, or D). When he got to answer B, twenty-four out of the twenty-five students in the class raised their hand. When he got to answer C, one student raised her hand.

Me.

When I saw everyone’s hands go up in the air for answer B, I thought to myself, This might be it. This just might be the moment when I can prove to everyone that I am extraordinary. That even though everyone thinks they know the right answer, it is really me who knows it all along. This is my moment to shine.

When Mr. Golchert asked if anyone chose answer C, I proudly raised my hand high. He said I was brave. Yep, I thought to myself, and I’m going to be right, even though no one else thinks so.

My teacher asked me if I wanted to change my answer, after seeing how everyone else answered.

“Nope,” I replied. This is where I prove myself, I kept thinking.

My anticipation built as Mr. Golchert explained the concepts from our math class we had used in this word problem. I couldn’t wait to hear him say that my brave answer was the one correct answer in the entire room.

And then he said it . . . the answer was B.

I was dumbfounded. How could I have been wrong?! I thought to myself.

And yet there was a part of me that was proud of myself for taking a risk. I could have raised my hand for answer B when I saw everyone else do it. I could have. And I would have answered correctly. But instead, I stood my ground and held fast until somebody told me that there was a better way. Mr. Golchert told me he was impressed that I had stayed with my answer, even when every other single person had chosen a different one.

Why do I share this story with you? I share this story with you because I think there is something inside of us, however big or small, that desires to be extraordinary. Something that cries out to be heard. An artistic ability. A gift of athleticism. A drive to succeed in the workplace. A passion to make a difference. Whatever it is, I believe that that fiery desire to be extraordinary is something that can easily be snuffed out in this world, if we let it. There are so many things that can discourage us from pursuing the extraordinary. Working the first job we find just to pay the bills. Not knowing what we want out of life. Trying our hardest but always falling short of our goals. Being told that we are not good enough. Any of these things can prevent us from pursuing the extraordinary.

But recently, as I have been thrown into a world where I am forced to prove that I am extraordinary, and have been discouraged in various ways, I have repeatedly gone back to this story, from that time when I was in the sixth grade, and I was so sure of what I wanted that it didn’t matter what everyone else thought. I was going to prove that I was extraordinary. And I am realizing again, as a twenty-four-year-old, that that passionate desire to be found extraordinary is still alive in me.

And I don’t want to let anyone in this world snuff it out.

mind-boggling fingerprints

God is funny. He has a way of boggling my mind that . . . well . . . boggles my mind. Let me explain.

I often see God’s fingerprints on my life when I reflect on the ways that he has put certain events in my life into succession without me really even being aware of them. I fully believe that God puts circumstances and people in my life for specific reasons, so that I can experience challenge and success now as a means of preparing me for challenge and success in the future.

For example . . .

I recently started a new job at Innovative Therapy 4-Kids, where I teach sensory-motor classes that contain anywhere from two to seven kids with various special needs. Not the easiest job in the world, but I believe I am fairly successful at it because . . .

For the past two years, I have taught gymnastics at the Magdalena Ecke YMCA in Carlsbad for literally every age group of children, from infants to teenagers. Because of my job at this particular gymnastics facility, I am not only experienced in teaching classes of several crazy and rambunctious children, but I have also learned from the best. My boss Quin is known all over the country as a gymnastics coach (he was a college coach for a while), and in particular for his ability to teach preschool-aged and recreational gymnastics classes. He teaches at gymnastics conferences and clinics so that he can train other coaches in how to do what he does. He really has a gift. And he has shared it with me. His daughter is just like him in her personality and methodology of running her classes, and she just so happens to be one of my dearest friends. She has her dad’s gift. And she has shared it with me. But I have only experienced this gift because . . .

Two and a half years ago, in December of 2005, my husband made the decision to accept the position of College Resident at a place in Oceanside, CA called New Song Community Church. Much of the reason he was offered the job was because . . .

When Brian was in high school up in Sacramento, he had this youth pastor named Jim Britts. Jim later went on to accept a position as youth pastor down in Oceanside, CA, at a place called New Song Community Church. After Brian started college at UCLA in 2001, he and Jim would meet up for lunch every so often. In the summer of 2004, Jim asked Brian to be New Song’s summer high school intern, which included living in Oceanside for three months. Since I was training for gymnastics in LA at the time, and since Brian’s and my one-year dating anniversary took place while he was interning in Oceanside, I came down and stayed with Jim and his wife Rachel for a week in August of 2004. One of my college teammates at the time was living and training in Carlsbad for the summer, so, like any good athlete would do while preparing for pre-season, I went to her gym to train with her during that week. It was called the Magdalena Ecke YMCA, and it was in Carlsbad. I was training in the summer because . . .

My UCLA gymnastics team had just won our 2nd consecutive national championship, and I needed to train hard all summer in order to be able to contribute to another good season. Brian knew this about me and was very supportive. He knew me pretty well by then. But the only reason he knew me at all was because . . .

In January of 2002, we were taking the same Sociology 1 class. But the only reason we ever knew we were in the same class at all was because . . .

In January of 2002, I broke four bones in my left foot during my first ever collegiate competition. I was sentenced to crutches for the entirety of our 10-week winter quarter. While I was bummin’ it on the computer in my dorm room one day, leg elevated and all, I came across a class profile website for my Sociology 1 class. I breezed through the profiles to see if there was anyone I knew in the class. I came across the profile of a guy named Brian, and I liked it. Sports. Working out. God. Sacramento Kings. Granite Bay. I got his AIM screen name and we chatted a few times before we met up after class one day. The crutches made the initial greeting a little awkward. But I was no stranger to crutches because . . .

When I was 14 years old, I broke my fibula and tibia while training for an elite meet. The first day of summer vacation after my freshman year of high school, 1998. After two surgeries, I decided in my head that I was done with gymnastics. Before that, everyone thought I was going to the Olympics. And not just the, “Oh, you’re a gymnast? Do you want to go to the Olympics?” My coach was on the National Team Staff, and apparently he talked with everyone all the time about “this kid he has back at his gym in Sacramento.” It was a big deal. So if this injury was going to screw up everyone’s plans for me to go to the Olympics, then there was certainly no reason for me to continue. Time for me to have a normal life, I thought. No more two-a-days and nonexistent social life. Then my dad suggested that I consider collegiate gymnastics. I was appalled. Why would I want to continue in such an awful sport? I thought. Now is my chance to get out while I still can! But I gave the idea a chance. And the only reason I gave it a chance was because . . .

For as long as I can remember, I had wanted to go to UCLA. My dad graduated from UCLA, and so I had grown up watching UCLA basketball games on TV, wearing UCLA gear, and visiting UCLA’s campus on our way down to Disneyland as kids. I got straight A’s all through high school, but even with good grades, the only realistic way I could get into such a competitive academic institution such as UCLA was through gymnastics. So as I began considering what it could be like to be a collegiate gymnast, I became encouraged. However, my practice time at the gym was limited due to my injury, so I started volunteering after school one day a week at my church, playing with and tutoring kids for the underprivileged community that surrounded us. It was through that experience that I discovered my passion for volunteering and for empowering struggling children to succeed. I’ll never forget when I couldn’t make it one week, and the next week I was told that eight-year-old Lisa wouldn’t do her math homework last week because I wasn’t there. We always did her math homework together. It broke my 14-year-old heart. But the only reason I thought to volunteer with kids in the first place was because . . .

When I was ten years old, I got my first babysitting job. It was for our neighbors across the street. They had two - and then three - baby boys. I loved babysitting. I loved kids. I realized I wanted to work with kids my whole life. I decided I wanted to be a doctor for kids. Yes, that’s what I’ll be, a pediatrician. My path is set. As I began college, I discovered that I was not cut out to be a doctor after all. And so God changed my path. He brought me through the fields of Education, Psychology, Social Work, Public Policy, Research, and Teaching.

And so here I am now. The year 2008. The challenges and successes I experience now, built upon the foundation of challenges and successes I have experienced in the past. Not one worthless memory. And even though the path often seems winding and difficult to understand, now I know that God simply wants me to “Trust in the Lord with all [my] heart, and lean not on [my] own understanding. In all [my] ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight [my] paths”(Proverbs 3:5-6). This is my favorite verse of all time. I have lived it.

Where God has me right now - it’s perfect. A blend of things that are known with things that are unknown. With the combination of my current lack of a therapist certification, my desire to gain the most experience possible before entering grad school, and the state of our current economy, the classes I teach at the clinic are exactly where I need to be right now. They are the things that parents can afford when they can’t afford to do therapy. So I am provided with a paycheck and with experience, and the parents and children are provided with a service that supplements something that they otherwise could not afford.

It all goes back to the chain of successes and challenges. And the chain is too powerful for me to be able to say they are just events that happened to lead one to the other.

Nope.

It’s God.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

do i really have to grow up?

I have spent most of my twenty four and a half years of life in sweatpants, leotards, and gym shirts.  I don’t dress to impress.  So after 3 weeks of being asked to dress as a trendy young professional at the therapy clinic, I have realized something.  I don’t own “real life” clothes.

Brian understands my dilemma, so we decided I should do something about that.  Tonight I went to Kohl’s (for the first time ever!) and as soon as I walked in, it hit me.  The clothes I’m looking for are mostly in the Misses section.  But I can’t do that.  If I shop in the Misses section, I’m admitting I’m a grown-up.  And I just can’t do that!

So I retreated to the section of the store where I always go automatically.

You know.

But I don’t want to say it.

Alright, fine.

I went to the Juniors section.  And there I found everything that I was looking for.  Plus the deals are so much better in the Juniors section than in the Misses section!  How can you beat the 80% off rack?

So, in my quest to embark on the beginning of a new career, I find myself stuck between “I want to be respected as an adult” and “I don’t wanna grow up.”

What a funny place it is to be.

the zen in me.

So I was watching the season finale of LOST online (which caused me to scream out loud a few times with my little earphones attached to my laptop while Brian was trying to simultaneously study, watch the National Spelling Bee, and watch the Padres attempt to blow it big time (again) . . . sorry, Love!), and a funny thing happened.

You know how there are those annoying 30-second long commercials when you watch TV shows on abc.com? Well, this particular episode of ABC online television was sponsored by Chrysler, and one of their interactive commercials was actually halfway interesting. The title read something like, “How Your Driving Relates to Your Career.” I was intrigued, so I took the five-question quiz that inquired what I would do in certain stressful driving situations. Turns out I’m a “Zen Driver.” I “go with the flow.” Then, in the column to the right-hand side of my driving personality, it suggested four professions in which my “zen” driver-ness would behoove me. Do you know what the first one was?

Occupational Therapist.

Seriously?

It so doesn’t even match with the whole “zen” thing, but there it stood, on the screen of my computer. The Chrysler corporation says I should be an occupational therapist.

Alright, that’s it, my quest for the perfect profession is finally complete. My destiny has been handed to me.

Now, of course, I know it’s just a silly online commercial quiz thing, but still. Don’t you find that odd? Especially given my recent discovery of everything related to my involvement in the field of Occupational Therapy?

I do.

the future, fighting off fear, and hanging artwork.

Last night at Seven24, Brian spoke about fear. Mark 11:27-12:12 was the main passage. I knew a week ago that he was going to be speaking about it, and didn’t really think anything of it. Great for those who are really wrestling with fear, it should be a really good night for them.

Except I found out that “them” was actually “me.” It’s funny how that happens.

Let me take you through my experience last night.

Fear can cause us to do nothing or to do stupid things. Misplaced fear can control us and be devastating.

Proverbs 1:7 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, so when we fear God, it causes us to respect and worship Him, and we become more in tune with how the things we do ultimately affect the role of God in our lives and our ability to worship Him.

Fear can distort our perception of reality and cause us to close our minds.

In the Mark passage, the Jews and pharisees reject Jesus, and a huge factor that plays into that is fear. Fear can cause us to close our minds and do stupid things.

Romans 8:15 says that we, as children of God, have not received a “spirit of slavery to fall back into fear,” but we have received the “Spirit of adoption as sons and daughters, by whom we cry Abba! Father!“

What we fear, we ultimately worship. What do I fear? What do I ultimately worship?

Gulp.

Here is what I wrote during our response time: I am afraid of making the wrong decision about my future. Maybe if it was just me, I might be less afraid. But I am responsible for Brian too. And if I make the wrong decision, then it screws it up for both of us. My fear has prevented me from pursuing my education further because I don’t want to waste time or money on the wrong thing. But the reality is, I am wasting time by not doing anything. How will I ever know if it’s “right” or “wrong” if I never take any steps forward? Then I will live in regret and “what if I had only?…” God, I don’t want to live like that. I want to be confident in Your plans for me and then passionately pursue them in obedience to You. Lord, I pray your blessings on my “baby steps.” You are faithful.

Here’s something you might not know about me. I hate to make mistakes. Yes, I am a perfectionist, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t like to get things wrong. It can be paralyzing. Decisions that are made from my own human mind are very difficult for me. I really don’t like to get things wrong. (This is why I will NEVER be an interior decorator. I would go crazy just staring at the walls with a million ideas and an inability to act on them.)

But here’s the cool part. I’ve found that, when it comes to making decisions out of obedience to God, it’s a vastly, indescribably, ridiculously peaceful thing. It is impossible for fear to creep in - fear of doing the wrong thing - when I am living in obedience to God. Isaiah 41:8-10 depicts God talking to the nation of Israel, His “servant,” His “chosen,” His “friend,” to “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

So of what, exactly, have I been living in fear?

Making the decision to pursue a master’s degree in Occupational Therapy. All of my logic tells me that, even though it interests me, it would be a big mistake. Going into $100,000 of debt for a two-year program. Possibly going to USC (seriously, I really don’t want to convert to being a Trojan). Working ridiculously hard at keeping up, because even though it fascinates me and I’m a really good student, it takes me a little longer to learn science and math concepts than the average A student. Starting a family soon after getting my master’s, thus rendering it less useful than if I would have made this decision two years ago. Likely having to relocate to a new state. All of my human logic goes against saying “yes” to this path.

But then Proverbs 3:5-6 (my favorite verse of all time, ever since I was a kid) tells me to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.”

So what has God been doing in all of this? He has been prodding at me over and over that this is the path that I should take. Over the past year or so, the Holy Spirit has repeatedly impressed upon my heart that, yes, I need to pursue pediatric Occupational Therapy. This is how I will make you more like my Son. I will use you to bring hope to my children and their families who are struggling with how their child will ever function normally, in a way that uses the gifts I have given you. And yet I have dismissed it as the ebbs and flows of my own passion. God has spoken to me through people who had no idea the struggle to make a decision that I am going through, from parents saying things like, Christie is the closest thing to an O.T. that we have in our child’s life right now, to an O.T. that I deeply admire and respect telling me in an email, Please…….seriously…….go to OT school!!!!!!!!! You would be such an asset to our profession!…Seriously, go to OT school!!!!!!!!! God has also spoken to me through godly teaching, like last night’s, and through His words in Scripture to address my fear and to show me that He has PROMISED that He will guide me and that He wants to use me to bring hope to the hopeless, just like Jesus did.

And yet I have been too afraid to listen and obey, because I have been leaning on my own understanding.

Enough is enough. It’s time to obey. Sure, my fear will still creep in and tell me that it doesn’t make sense and what if I choose the wrong path. That’s the enemy. I will not be paralyzed by fear anymore.

I will be taking classes at MiraCosta Community College starting in the fall to work on completing my 3 or so prerequisite classes in order to apply to OT school. Whether or not God ultimately wants me to be an OT is irrelevant. Right now, He wants my obedience.

So what am I going to do in the meantime? Hang up all my Europe photos and artwork that I have put off for eight months because I have been too afraid that I will do it wrong.

It’s time to start fighting off fear.

Paris at Home

Paris is slowly taking over my home.   First the scrapbook.  Then the kitchen towels, floor mats, pot holders, and place mats.  Then the living room.  And now the dining area.

I can’t help it.

I just love Paris.  And so does Brian.

Here is our latest addition.